is your mom at the bar?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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