chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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