I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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