frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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