I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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