Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
