Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
