we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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