with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize