what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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