I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
