How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
