Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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