hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
