He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
