Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
