Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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