if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
