Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
