Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
