Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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