How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
