My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
