grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
