I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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