it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
