I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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