Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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