Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
