tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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