We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
