I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize