I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
