Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize