Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
