His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
