she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
