And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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