My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
