the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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