sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
