I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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