i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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