They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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