if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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