Michael Bay diarrhea
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
