he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
