I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize