I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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