I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
