also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
