We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
