I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
