I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
