Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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