Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
