I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
