hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
