guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
