you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
